I ordered a paper on Tony Morrison from one of the writers here and received very bad feedback. Here is the feedback. Now finally also some comments on your paper on Morrison. I appreciate the fact that you have consulted different outside sources for your paper. However, the argument that you start making does not really go very deep into the novel text, but, rather, talks about slave life in general, e.g. on p. 1 in the case of songs. Your paragraphs do not follow the standard paragraph structure: in English, you should state your main aim for the paragraph in the thesis sentence and follow through with it. You, however, switch between ideas in your paragraphs that makes the argument hard to follow. You repeat ideas, instead of discussing tem in one place thoroughly. There are also sentence level problems with argument and meaning that all too often does not add up. There are also all too many language mistakes (more than I remember from your papers from last semester). The paper, however, is full of odd claims or perhaps unfortunate formulations that leave a misleading impression. For example, on p. 1 you call Toni Morrison him. There is also a mystifying reference to Thomas Morrison in your bibliography. You also seem to suggest that there were slaves in the US who were not African-Americans. There are also sentences where the meaning is hard to graspyou seem to have consulted good sources, but incorporating their ideas into your own sentences has not succeeded. So, this paper is not fully developed in its argumentation and structure and it also badly needs editing for language. I need the paper to be corrected according to the feedback with NO factual and grammatical errors, but as the tutor thinks it is my paper, some parts of it should stay, so no total rewriting. Sources and style should remain, apart for the mistyfing book in the bibliography Here is the link to the paper.
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